|Stay Focused My Friend|
Now, I already know there are a couple of major wars going on, radiation is spreading in Japan, Israel is getting ready to attack Iran and WW III might start as a result, our economy is collapsing, Chinese influence is spreading across the world, the whole town of Joplin Mo., was wiped out a few months back, and a comet is heading directly for us but, enough about all this insignificant nonsense. I've read the paper and watched the news on TV today so I'm ready to focus and really worry about the things that matter. You should probably do the same, so let me share some of what the media helped me focus on today.
1. Did you know that Kim Kardashian is getting a divorce after only 72 days of marriage? Did you know that gay people are really mad at her? Yep, they're mad because they say she is allowed to get married and blew it, while they still can't. Now I know this is mucho importanto because they had Mr. Zulu himself on saying so. I think I was able to see this breaking news four or five times today as I surfed the TV channels.
2. There is a little white baby missing in one of the states in the Midwest somewhere I think. It's a very sad thing but, now I realize there are kidnappers on almost every street in our country. You should probably have a chip implanted in your kid, they said. Pretty good advice I think. And maybe your dog too, in case he runs away or somebody steals him.
3. Nancy Grace is still on Dancing with the Stars. This must really be important because it was on all the major networks morning shows AND in my local paper. I'm really hoping she wins so 60 Minutes will do an hour on her down the road.
4. The police had to go into a house in Pittsburgh and take out 20 cats. Yep, all over the local news. I really worry that all those cats are OK.
5. The Obamas gave out Halloween Treats the other day. Not sure what it was exactly because one network says it was fruit, another said candy. So I'm not sure exactly.
6. Michael Jackson's doctor is in a lot of trouble. He was putting Michael to sleep with some heavy drug. There were a lot of big attorneys and their guests talking about it all day. You can even watch it on TV, live if you want to.
7. Some women are mad at Herman Cain for being sexually suggestive with them nearly 20 years ago. I hear they want to come out and tell their story. Funny that it didn't matter before but, now it does.
8. Some blond actress named Lindsay Lohan is in a lot of trouble and should be in jail. But, since it's in California they don't have any room so they keep leaving her off the hook. They said she has problems with addiction so she will probably die soon like Amy Winehouse. Too bad.
Hopefully, these examples will help you to get your focus on what's important in America today just like I did. Now get busy and start worrying about the right stuff Dammit!